Now and Then
by Shadow over Egypt
Summary: How could one atone, when no-one knew exactly how much damage the Items - and they - had done? #oneshot, post-canon, mild pairings#


**Shadow: **Final round for season five of Compy's contest – _Bladeshipping, _Yuugi Mouto x Pandora. (Y'know, the guy in Battle City with the mask and the red Dark Magician.) Pairing named for those wonderful spinning blades installed in the duel arena that would hack off the feet of the loser of the duel – that got so charmingly changed to 'Shadow discs' (or something similar in title) in the dub that was to send the loser's mind to the Shadow Realm. T_T Honestly. (-prefers the original-) As dear Bakura puts it in the Abridged series – _"What's the point in having a graveyard in a city where no-one _dies?!"

_**Notes: **_Mild shonen-ai (boy x boy), for both the specified pairing and Wishshipping – Katsuya Jounouchi x Yuugi Mouto. Don't like, don't read.

This is set post-canon.

* * *

**Now and Then**

Jounouchi Katsuya fought his way up from under a sea of stultifying warmth, his thoughts slowly awakening as they dragged themselves from the dark depths of slumber. His body felt comfortable, heavy, senses creeping back to life across his skin informing him of the smooth sheets beneath his body and the thick covers over him, the slim form curled against his front as tousled hair tickled the nape of his neck. Warm breath, soft and deep, brushed against the hollow of his throat, regular and soothing as the low throb of his own heartbeat.

Jounouchi came back to himself, eyes sliding open to meet the muted morning light coming in through his bedroom curtains. In his loose hold Mouto Yuugi lay dreaming, the slight smile playing about the smaller male's lips assuring his blond housemate and lover that his thoughts were pleasant ones. Yuugi deserved them.

Slowly, cautiously, Jounouchi sat up, easing himself away from his bed-companion. He felt a little light-headed, muggy – probably a result of being ill recently, having come down with a fever a few days beforehand. Jounouchi's mouth was dry and so he slid out of bed, pulling a face when the skin not covered by the boxers and t-shirt he'd dragged on for bed the night before met the chill morning air. Spring or not the air was _freezing, _especially when he compared it to the wonderful warmth of the bed plus Yuugi. (Jounouchi would personally recommend the combo over any miniature heater any day.)

The walk to the kitchen – and water – was a long one, Jounouchi stumbling a little as he went, wooziness showing itself clearly in his steps. His mind, however, wasn't so badly affected, offering sleepy grumbles at the blond's ineptitude even as the young man misjudged the distance between himself and a nearby door lintel, sending his shoulder straight into the wood.

Pain shocked Jounouchi into a little more clarity, brown eyes widening and taking in what lay before them – namely, the living room, with its door leading into the kitchen. Namely, the pale sprawl on the living room sofa, pastel-blue t-shirt clashing horribly with the worn beige-olive blanket loosely draped over pointed hips. A mussed snowfall of hair topped the ensemble, white strands blending into the fair skin of its owner's face but stark against the dark red of the couch's cushions.

Jounouchi stopped and blinked. He rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand. He blinked again. The sight before him didn't change.

"Yuug'," Jounouchi padded – just as haphazardly - back to where he'd left his lover sleeping, sitting heavily on the edge of the bed and tugging the sheets covering the smaller male, "why's there a Bakura asleep on our couch?"

Yuugi grumbled lightly at the disruption of his slumber, snuggling down further into his sheets to stay warm. "…Jounouchi-kun didn't take that many meds last night… He'll remember if he thinks about it." His voice was a little muffled by his pillow.

"Jounouchi-kun will remember even quicker if his boyfriend just tells him..." Jounouchi lay down again, nose inches from the other's face. The pillow was a blessing for his head.

"Ryou-kun came over last night," Yuugi was still talking to his friend, Mr. Bedsheet. "We fed him; we watched movies together, you went to bed early with meds; Ryou-kun and I watched more movies. It grew late; I suggested he stay because he was tired." Yuugi tilted his head up, drowsy purple eyes meeting his companion's. "How are you feeling this morning?" He reached up with one hand, laying it across Jounouchi's forehead. "Your temperature's gone down."

"A little better," was the brief reply, flashes of the night before coming back to the blond – pizza, Ryou telling them about his day, nodding off before the television with his head in Yuugi's lap… Yuugi had sent him to bed when he'd started falling asleep, a dead weight on his lover's legs. "…What'd y'watch after I was gone?"

"Some old horror movie -" Yuugi smiled when Jounouchi visibly twitched. "I know you don't like them."

His boyfriend shuddered. "Can't _stand _them. 'Specially the zombie ones when they're all gooey and rotting and murderous when they rip into y'with their _teeth -"_

"I know, Jounouchi-kun." Yuugi patted his lover's arm comfortingly. "That's why Ryou-kun and I watched the movie after you'd gone to bed."

"…I need something to drink." Jounouchi sat up; more awake than the last time he'd tried it, and so possessing a little better balance.

"Mmhm…" Yuugi snuggled down into the covers again, smiling blissfully at the warmth of his nest.

Jounouchi smiled fondly in return, having reached the bedroom door by that point, leaning on the wood to watch as his housemate slid gently back off into sleep. Yuugi clearly had pleasant dreams. Jounouchi wondered just what exactly they were about.

* * *

Later – ah, it was always later – Yuugi was in the bathroom, getting ready for the day. By the time he'd eventually crawled out of bed Ryou had been gone, disappeared to do his shift as a voluntary aide at the nearby hospital. Training to be a doctor the aide-work was good experience, fitting in comfortably around the albino's studies.

"Hey, Yuug'?" Jounouchi's voice floated through the door, Yuugi obligingly poking his head out from the bathroom, toothbrush stuck firmly in his mouth. The blond waved a shiny gadget at him from his position further down the hallway. "I think Ryou's left his phone."

Yuugi disappeared to spit out a mouthful of paste, returning swiftly. "…He'll need that."

"Should I give him a call then…?"

Taking note of how heavily his lover was leaning on the wall Yuugi left the bathroom, taking the phone from Jounouchi's hands. "Take some more meds and go back to sleep. I'll phone the hospital, get in touch with Ryou."

Jounouchi frowned. "But you have uni classes -"

"_Bed, _Jounouchi Katsuya. You're still wobbly on your feet." When the blond looked as if he were about to protest Yuugi shooed him, gently ushering the taller male back to the bedroom with soft pokes in the back. Once Jounouchi was back in bed, covers pulled firmly up to his chin, Yuugi left him, trotting through to the phone in the living room.

He got through to the hospital reception, asking if they could get in touch with one Bakura Ryou-san for him –

"_Hello?"_

"Ryou-kun, it's Yuugi." Yuugi smiled down the phone, well aware the other couldn't see him, but unable to stop the instinctive reaction all the same. "Did you check to see if you had your mobile phone with you when you left my house earlier today?"

"_Um…" _There was a pause, Ryou clearly thinking back to whether he'd picked the item up, _"don't tell me I left it on the living room table?"_

"You did."

There was a sigh. _"I'd best come pick it up then. Is it alright if I come during my break? I should be able to get to yours and back again in time -"_

"Would you like me to come drop it off for you instead?"

Ryou sounded doubtful. _"Are you sure? I wouldn't want you to go out of your way -"_

"It's no trouble," Yuugi assured the other. "The hospital's on-route to the university campus anyway."

"_Thank you, Yuugi-kun." _The appreciation in the albino's voice sounded sincere. _"It would be a great help to me if you could do that."_

"I'll see you in about twenty minutes then. Ja ne."

"_Ja ne!"_

Seven minutes and thirty-six seconds later, Yuugi was out of house he shared with Jounouchi (after quickly checking the blond had had dosage of fever-reducers – lovingly - rammed down his throat), his book-bag on his shoulder as he lightly jogged through Domino's midday crowds.

The hospital really wasn't all that far away, and he reached it in good time, brightly slipping in through the automatic doors to ask the receptionist if she knew where Bakura was working at that time. Directions in hand he made his way through the hallways, jogging when he caught sight of a familiar white-haired man, grabbing onto Ryou's arm with a grin.

"Special delivery!"

"Yuugi!" Ryou jumped at the sudden onslaught, shying back a step before his senses kicked in once more. "You startled me!"

"Apologies," the smaller male swept a quick bow, the teasing glint in his eyes completely belying the regretful motion. "My, don't _you _look nice in scrubs?"

Ryou smiled, fondly exasperated. "Yuugi-kun…"

"Your phone." Yuugi lilted out the sentence, whipping out the gadget from his jacket pocket and depositing it in his friend's hands. "Safe and sound. Mouto Delivery Services Incorporated -"

"Try saying that fast when you're drunk."

"- have come through once more!"

"Thanks, Yuugi-kun." Ryou slipped his phone into one of his own pockets, expression grateful. "It was kind of you to come out here."

Yuugi flapped a hand, pooh-poohing the statement. "As I said before, it's no trouble." The two friends moved to the side of the hallway as a female doctor bustled past, the woman seemingly deeply focused on her destination. "University's only a stone's throw away from here."

Ryou was looking after the doctor, gaze distant. "…One day it'll be me wearing one of those white coats."

"I'll make sure to have you as my personal doctor, then," Yuugi replied brightly, smiling. "There's no-one I'd trust with my health more."

(_After all, _Yuugi's internal voice piped up rather snidely – sounding suspiciously like Jounouchi -, _with the amount of flying intestines Ryou-kun has seen in all the horror movies he watches he should be well-acquainted with the human body's insides. _Yuugi pushed the voice aside with a mental snort.)

"If I'm ever that good," his companion answered, "you'll have to join the queue of patients."

"I'll have to join the queue even if you're bad." Yuugi returned just as smartly. "Once the girls that used to be in our high school class catch wind of you being in possession of a '_sexy' _white coat you'll be beating them off." A thoughtful few seconds as Yuugi mused the possibility. "Or I will – health comes first!"

Ryou laughed, a little embarrassed. "Yuugi-kun -" His gaze became confused as he realised the youth before him was looking not at him, but past him, through the window of the ward next to them. "Yuugi?"

Yuugi's brows were drawn down into a thoughtful frown, focusing in on one of the bed-bound patients – the one nearest the glass. "Do…" He glanced at Ryou again, "I know him?"

"Hm?" Ryou followed the line of the other's sight, looking at the patient his friend had singled out.

It was a man in about his late twenties, with a badly scarred face and hair dyed a dark purple. His cubicle was empty of flowers or gifts, his bedside cabinet without a single card of well-wishing. White bandages wound all the way up his left arm, going under the sleeve of his hospital gown.

Ryou had to think a second for the name. "…Pandora, he's called. I had to move him to this ward. Wait -"

Yuugi's eyes were wide, the familiar face given a name, sparking recognition. "What _happened_ to him?"

"Second-degree burn – he knocked a pan of scalding water over himself, we believe." Ryou looked awkward, having recognised the name as well from tales of Battle City. "It hit his arm and legs – the bandages go on for quite a bit."

"And no-one's come to visit him?" Yuugi looked almost accusing. "That's terrible!"

"Well, as far as I know he doesn't have any close relatives and – _Yuugi!" _Ryou couldn't help the startled cry leaving his lips when his friend made to enter the ward. "What're you doing?"

Yuugi frowned. "I'm going to go talk to him; he looks lonely."

"But _Yuugi -" _Yuugi stepped through the ward's doors, letting the barrier swing shut on the other's protests. Ryou pulled a face at him through the window, about to follow, but waylaid when a nurse touched his arm, talking to him.

Yuugi didn't notice.

"Pandora-san?" Yuugi cautiously took a seat at the ex-magician's bedside, wary of what the patient's response would be. The elder male wasn't looking his way but –

On the pillow, Pandora's head turned, vague, unfocused eyes looking Yuugi's way. "Do I know you…?" His voice sounded tired, completely at odds with the – somewhat psychotic – confidence Yuugi remembered from their duel so many years before.

"My name is Mouto Yuugi," the younger man said gently. "Um…we dueled some years back, when KaibaCorp hosted the Battle City tournament -"

"I remember." Pandora's gaze had sharpened. "I tried to kill you so I could win Catherine back. But, you beat me with your cards…and then wouldn't let me die…"

Yuugi blushed slightly. "…How…how are you feeling?" He felt exceedingly young compared to the other's weary age, swallowed up by the uncomfortable chair he perched in.

"She never came back," was Pandora's rather simple reply.

* * *

They stood watching, awkwardly, outside the ward window as, for the fifth time that week, Yuugi visited Pandora. The legendary duelist had brought some flowers to brighten up the patient's cubicle – something both Ryou and Jounouchi had regarded with some bewilderment. They didn't understand why Yuugi went back to visit someone who, at one time, had wanted him dead.

Ryou leant back against the nearby wall with a sigh, tired after rushing around so much that day. "He scares me sometimes."

"Yeah?" Jounouchi was at his side, the blond agreeing to go to the hospital with his boyfriend before the two headed out together to grab something for lunch.

Ryou nodded, crossing his arms over his chest. "Yuugi loves humanity – at its best, at its worst, and at its most indifferent. He loves humanity – all of it – regardless of what it does to him. I don't know how you can stand it."

Jounouchi looked aside. "…It's just part of Yuugi."

"I know," his companion replied, glancing through the ward's window to where the subject of their discussion sat at Pandora's side, "but I only watch him from afar, and it's breaking my heart."

* * *

"_Revenge will be mine, Pharaoh."_

Memories whirled in Yuugi's mind, troubles of the past raked over and turned up to his eyes once more.

"_You'll see, Yuugi-boy."_

Old curses flung his way, all that _hate _that had been poured upon his person by those with cruel voices, spiteful eyes. So many people, with so many grudges…

"_This is your fault; I hate you!"_

Yuugi found it hard to dream anymore. Even should his slumber start sweet it inevitably turned into a nightmare, horrors of the past sneaking up to rewrite history, terrify him into wakefulness. The past was dead, but its spectre was just as haunting as the original body.

"Hey," the young man took his usual seat at Pandora's bedside, pleased when the patient almost immediately looked his way. "They've toned down your pain medication?"

"The doctors said the chance of infection is lessening." The ex-magician's voice never rose above anything other than a low murmur, constantly sounding weary, tired.

"…I brought you some flowers." Yuugi extended the bouquet of tulips he'd bought, the bright colours stark against the hospitals starched scheme of blue and white. "Shall I go get a vase for them?"

"Catherine liked tulips…" Pandora seemed preoccupied by the bundle in his arms so Yuugi swiftly left, given a vase by a nurse. After filling it with water, he returned to his seat.

Catherine, Catherine, _Catherine. _Pandora was still obsessed with the woman, his mind still mostly reeling after Malik had bespelled it. Malik and the Millennium Rod had really done quite a number on Pandora's sanity…

The man consented to giving up the tulips so Yuugi could put them in the vase, his scarred face thoughtful as he looked upon the flowers. Yuugi tried not to look back, occupying himself with his task, still a little unused to the other's appearance when his mind's eye still informed him the magician should be wearing a striped mask. (Yuugi hadn't quite worked up the courage to ask where the mask had gone.)

Pandora had been a victim of the Items of a Thousand Years, one in a string of hundreds, thousands. The ages had been many, Yuugi around for only the blink of an eye of the Item's lifetimes. However many were hurt…Yuugi couldn't accurately say.

No-one had touched the Items and come away unscathed. Injury, insanity and death were the usual results, countless souls lost to the Shadows, the blood-hungry gleam of cursed gold. Those that had kept their limbs, lives and minds faced…._sorrow, _grief. Bakura Ryou had lost years of his life to a revenge-seeking spirit, lost his mother, his sister. Yuugi himself had been torn apart; losing his other self, part of his soul –

They were walking wounded. Crafted of blood and anger in flames made of murder, the main gift brought by the Millennium Items had been pain.

(How many nights had he cried for the ache in his soul, exactly, missing Atemu? Letting the other go had been the right thing to do, but it still hurt. It was right to mourn a fallen friend, even if the fall had been a simple walk into the bright light…)

"Yuugi…?"

_How much damage did the Items do…?_

"Yuugi?" Pandora.

Yuugi came back to himself, to find his hands stilled in organising the tulips, having been staring blankly at the wall in front of him. He blushed darkly, hastily finishing his job and sitting down in a rush.

Pandora smiled at him, tiredly. "Thank you for the flowers, and your company."

"It's nothing." It was the least Yuugi could do, a vague attempt to absolve himself of the blame that lurked in his heart for the other's condition.

_How much damage did _we _do?_

History was a damning thing. They hadn't cared, while it had been happening, sweeping across the globe on their grandiose missions to maim, to rule, save or destroy. Such passions that had snared them all, half-baked dreams and nightmares of vigilantes and madmen, children too young to see the damage they left trailing in their wake.

Perhaps the most dangerous thing about the Millennium Items had been the wielders –

Yami had been just as much a weapon as the gold itself. Yami had been bladed, slanting and sharp, with a razor tongue and cutting mind, jagged slices of blood-stained glass gleaming in his eyes. Justice, righteous justice, the weapon sheathed by Yuugi's softer smile.

"_Who are you?" _Yuugi could remember being afraid, _terrified, _staring at his scarlet-eyed reflection in that deep darkness between their minds. Could remember seeing the passion, the anger and arrogance and pride in those irises, pupils wide and dark as a moonless night, drawing Yuugi in. Eyes that thought of little but the game, the challenge, adrenaline pumping through the blood. Their throbbing heartbeat, a sonorous drum, beating away in both their ears. That drumbeat had led them to war.

"Where are you?" Yuugi jolted out of his thoughts when slightly callused fingertips touched his cheek, trailing around to cup his cheek. Pandora looked vaguely worried, eyes just a shade darker than his hair focused solely on Yuugi.

"In the past." Yuugi ducked his own eyes, guilt making him unable to meet the other's gaze.

"Is it really so very unkind," his companion asked, "that it makes you afraid I'll see it when you look at me? That dark inside will mar the prettier skin?"

"Pandora-san -"

"Always look up." The magician's hand slid from Yuugi's cheek to his chin, tilting the younger male's head up so their gazes could lock once more. "You who once told me to treat my monsters as my friends, treat your memories as your allies too. They make you what they are, and what you are…" Pandora paused, thinking of an apt way to phrase his ending, "what you _are _is why I'm here to say this to you." His eyes…were the clearest Yuugi could recall them. Catherine-free, confident. A man solid in his mind, even if dragging the strands together was a daunting task.

"…Is here such a wonderful place?" Yuugi couldn't hide his worry, or his guilt.

"Here is always a wonderful place," Pandora assured him. "It's not there or elsewhere. It takes a lot to live in 'here', and so those that manage it deserve all its joy. We're here."

That…from a man, scarred and burned. That from a man driven to lunacy by his own grief, and the magic of the Items channelled through anger, hate. That, from a man who to all accounts should have been bitter, jaded and insane.

"Thank you." Yuugi made sure to look the other head-on, catching the other's faint smile.

"A few words are nowhere near an equivalent exchange for such lovely flowers." Pandora brushed off the thanks. "Now…go." He dropped his hand from his the other's chin, flopping back onto his pillow. "Your friends are glaring at me through the ward window for molesting you."

Yuugi flared pink, eyes shooting to the ward window where, indeed, Ryou and Jounouchi were pointedly glowering in. "…I'd best go. I'll come visit again tomorrow, alright Pandora-san?"

The magician only nodded briefly, eyes warm as Yuugi darted from the room, dashing to leap upon his lover's lanky form. Jounouchi was easily preoccupied by the scolding man in his arms, Ryou torn away from his glaring to tease the couple. Pandora was pleased to see them so. Yuugi, precious Yuugi, couldn't hold himself responsible for the world, couldn't live in the past with its many woes. 'That way laid madness', or so they said.

Thoughtfully, the man reached up to touch the coloured petals of the tulips beside him, his own memories flickering across his mind. Outside the ward, Yuugi smiled, laughing at something one of his friends had said. Inside the ward, in his bed, Pandora smiled as well.

When Yuugi smiled, for just an instant, Catherine smiled as well.

Some things deserved to be carried to the future.


End file.
